Friendship, Love, Yoga
In a relationship. That’s what this yogini can see on some of her best friends’ online profiles.
I nod in approval. I even telepathically slap my distant fiancé a high-five.
No more awkward third wheels, fifth wheels; no more of the plea, “Set me up, please.”
I spent much of my time with some of these people in Singapore last week. Crashing at one couple’s apartment then hopping over to two others’ wasn’t only convenient (this third-world yogini couldn’t quite afford the first-world pricing of hostels), but it was also heart-warming.
Love was in the air.
Even my yoga teachers for that weekend, Briohny Smyth and husband Dice Iida-Klein, were so sweet it hurt my teeth.
Being in love is a yoga practice in itself. It’s an exercise in controlling emotions and other fluctuations of the mind. We may not experience oneness with the universe as do liberated yogis. But in an enlightened relationship, two individuals inexplicably (you might say magically) find peace, harmony, and freedom in many areas of their lives.
The best part comes when the two lovers drop the barriers to their egos and bare their souls in absolute surrender to and faith in each other. (The second-best part: replace “barriers to ego” with “clothing,” and “souls” with “bodies”.)
I’m happy for my friends who have found their soulmates. Or their ball-and-chains. In fact I’m so happy I can actually exempt them from the law “Bros before hoes” (in which case I’m the bro) or “Sisters before misters.”
I look back at certain guidelines I made up to turn my bro’s hoe into my own bro. Or,
How I Made My Sister’s Mister, My Sister:
(The gender pronouns are meant to support true stories)
- Limit the intimate hugs with your friend if he/she is of the opposite sex. Where applicable. This depends on a lot of factors. But particularly if her lesbian lover is a TRX-suspending basketball player.
- Open your life to his girlfriend. Or just invite her in. If she’s an artist, involve her in your wedding planning. If she’s a graphic artist, hire her (pray for free)!
- Review your role as life coach. Especially when your friend’s boyfriend is a decade older (and saner) than yourself. But be there, anyway.
- Feel free to dress to impress. There is no competition. He/she is your friend, after all. Or if he’s not your friend, well, his wife is already a jaw-dropping, yoga-flying Internet celebrity heartthrob. Duh.
- Stop the matchmaking. In fact, stop criticizing the match altogether if it’s already healthy. Let your friend be. He/she is grown up now and maybe, just maybe, his/her
thirty-thirdgirlfriend/boyfriend is finally “the one”.
For quite some time I was the only one among my friends in a long-term relationship. And in that time, amid exasperated huffs from my then-boyfriend (now fiancé), I still sought to fill the void I knew existed in my lonely friends’ lives.
We used to be each other’s significant other, better half, lord and master. I was the piece to complete her puzzle.
I realize I myself must have felt incomplete before to even think that way. In my desire for their happiness, I had longed to be everyone’s missing puzzle piece.
And I would have been a poor substitute for the real thing.
Now that they’ve found their better halves, it looks like this yogini has lost a job. How liberating it is!