16 Signs You Don’t See Your Friends Often Enough

by Eena

Dear Friends,
Because of your absence I’ve realized some pretty weird things, such as how shallow our awesome friendship can be and how much I like to exaggerate. I’m missing you on my birthday. You know who you guys are.

Love,
Eena

*****

YOU KNOW YOU DON’T SEE YOUR FRIENDS OFTEN ENOUGH WHEN…

  1. Your friend says “Meet me at the Starbucks by my new office” and you don’t even recall what company she’s moved to
  2. Drafting your wedding reception’s seating arrangement is a nightmare because you don’t remember who knows who
  3. No one’s been frank enough to say that your slutty hair needs a healthy trim
  4. The emptiness in your life is highlighted by the fact that no one quite understands your ginger obsession for Damien Lewis
  5. You’ve been aching for a no-brainer discussion on Agent Coulson’s resurrection since the pilot episode last September
  6. You haven’t shortlisted possible endings for this season’s The Walking Dead
  7. Have you even seen The Blacklist?
  8. You get horrified looks from your friends when you unwittingly (stupidly) refer to someone’s boyfriend by the ex’s name
  9. You forget the lyrics to Dick in a Box
  10. You actually start to miss your friend’s confident, but awful, singing
  11. You can’t get over Bon Iver (You need new songs.)
  12. Your desk has piled up with pasalubong or gifts from your last three trips: some Russian souvenir playing cards, figurines of Ganesha and Shiva, and boxes of expired peanut kisses from Bohol
  13. Your friends start to accept you as a real yogini based on the new laugh lines on your face
  14. You feel unimportant when they neglect to inform you they’ve been hospitalized twice (only because they didn’t want you to worry)
  15. You haven’t downed half a bottle of Captain Morgan in months (Arr, matey, why?)
  16. When you embrace for the first time in ages you’re surprised at, but shamelessly grateful for, the extra cushioning their recent weight gain provides ✌
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